First of all...

Feliz Navidad!

Okay, so before I came home for Christmas, I remember telling my room mate that I was going to be positive this year.  I'm not saying that I am an all around scrooge, but for some reason, that I was not able to recall, I did not like this time of year.  I thought that it had something to do with the commercialism of this time of year or how the ones I'm close to seem to care more about the cost of a gift than the thought put behind it.  However, I realize now that I was wrong in my reasoning.  It is not that I don't like Christmas.  I don't the reminder that occurs this time of year.  See, every year that I have been away at college or grad school I have become further and further away from knowing my family.  Yes, I know who they are, but they and I have changed so much over the past six years it's crazy.  I don't have the same sense of humor or interests as my brothers, so it's hard for me to communicate with them.  I have spent much of my time quietly listening to other people carry on conversations.  Plus, my brothers (and the women they are with - one being a sister in law the other my other brother's girlfriend) are very close.  They spend a lot of time together.  It's hard because I want to joke and goof around with them, but it seems as if I have nothing to offer in conversation.  Honestly, it seems as if they don't want to know too much about me, either.  I may have put off a negative vibe, so they didn't want to talk to me.  i don't know.  I guess I need to try harder or something.  My family did bless me with some nice gifts, which was and is appreciated.  i do enjoy spending time with them, but sometimes it feels like we do out of obligation instead of desire to be around one another. 

On a positive note, I am getting a lot of opportunities to help my parents out around the house.  I try to stay busy in my quietness, and my mom really appreciates it.  Tomorrow we are going to take care of my car because for some reason the check engine light came on while I was driving to houston.  not good since my car is only 2 years old... not good at all.  It's okay.  The car is still under warranty, so they have to fix the problem!  yay!  I am hanging out with some old friends of mine this week, which is awesome.

This world is a strange place especially when you are trying to find your place in it. 

till next time... <>< just keep swimming

The semester is almost over for me.  Yep, I only have about three left... I'm hoping.  I haven't really updated in a while because I've been addicted to my facebook and myspace.  I know... sad.  Let me just tell you how amazing God is!  I mean, it's amazing how everything just "works out" when we lay it all down.  kinda crazy, if you think about it!  well, yeah.  I've got a little more left to go school wise, then I get to just relax here in New Orleans until I go home for a week, Monroe for 4 days, and then Atlanta for four days.  Good times, good times!  Sorry I've been mia... life has been hectic, but it builds character, right?  I'm thankful that I am in this prep stage in my life.  i have to make the most of it while I'm here, but it makes me ready to see what God has in store for the future!  Oh yeah, I'm meeting a group from Oregon this week.  Way excited!!  if you didn't know, I want to move there when I'm done with grad school!  yay Jesus! 

holla! <><

So it's been a month since I've been on this thing.  Pretty sad, actually.  Lately, Nothing too interesting has happened.  You know, just work, school, church, studying, hanging out, and I think sleep is in there some where... maybe.  I did have an amazing weekend with my girls.  We had a mother/daughter retreat with the youth kiddos.  Even though I'm not a momma, I got to go because, well, they're my girls, and I adore them!  God moved in some amazing ways!  Let's just hope we all keep with our "game plan."  Anywho, lots of papers due with little time to do them.  Such is life.  I am convinced that I'm going to be in New Orleans for a while.  Not that it's a bad thing.  I'm actually excited about it.  No worries.  It's all in God's hands!  peace out, my peeps!  <><

I met the President yesterday!  We even laid hands on him and prayed!  How awesome is that! 

One year since Katrina... it's been a hard year, but a lot has been learned. 

peace out!  <><

Haven... Looking for my safe place

Sometimes it is nice to just get away.  Yesterday, while I was driving around New Orleans searching for a gas station that was actually opened, I became rather agitated with everything around me.  It didn't just start yesterday, but it has been going on for about a week now.  Only when I am in certain situations around certain people do I become annoyed for some reason.  Is it because I'm a chick and therefore have mood swings?  possibly.  Could it be a bunch of stress that is piling up around me?  maybe.  Is there Spiritual Warfare that is going on around me so strong that I am having difficultly dealing with it?  more likely than not.  Could it be a culmination of multiple things that I am having to figure out by stepping back from the situation and evaluating everything?  ding, DING, DING!  we have a winner!  It isn't that one person or thing is getting to me.  It's everything.  I know God is stretching me in hard ways, but I really can't figure it all out right now.  I'm reminded of this analogy I would tell other people who are facing my situation.  It's as if I am human silly puddy and God is stretching me and pulling me every which way.  At times I feel as if I'm going to tear, but I don't.  He keeps pulling and stretching.  When I can't take it any more, I get pressed firm against this newspaper that represents God.  Pressing firmly against Him, I am absorbing His words and image, so when I pealed away, all you see is a imprint and reflection of His character.  I tell others, but I don't really like to listen my own advise.  That would make sense.  I know everything is going to be fine, yet I worry about stupid things.  I know He has a perfect plan for my life, yet I become overly concerned about my next move in this game called life (not to be confused with LIFE by milton bradley... I don't think I've ever played that game).  It's almost as if I want the whole world to stop spinning in order to catch my breath, but then, I get angry because the world has become this huge sloth and needs to get off its lazy butt and do something.  I've become what I hate most: a walking contradiction. 

I'm in Houston right now.  I had three days where I would be going insane in New Orleans, so I opted to visit my family and friends over here.  I like coming home.  I really don't have to think that much about what's going to happen to me.  My mom takes care of that for me.  It reminds me that I will always have a place to go to when things get too hard.  Someone else will be able to take care of me.  That's always good to know.  I needed a place where I could sit under the trees and walk around barefoot without being bothered with stupid questions or fear of stepping on a nail from local construction.  I like nature.  I like seeing the trees that God created in order to sing His praise if needed.  I remember reading in Romans that since man fell all of earth has been decaying.  I like to think that the trees and plants want to encourage us not to sin in order that we can maybe restore this place.  It gives me encouragement.  When I come home, it reminds me of a simpler time in my faith.  I just believed because, well, God hadn't failed me.  God still hasn't failed me, but I forget that sometimes.  I forget that my Haven or safe place is in Him.  It doesn't matter that the world won't stop.  He will just sit with me a while and hold me moment by moment 'til forever passes by.  I think, in all honesty, I'm just angry with myself.  I'm not the person I want to be.  I have become that sloth that I yelled at the world for being.  I worry about the stupid stuff, and put a wall up between me and other people because I think they don't care.  Maybe I'm selfish...  I did use "I" 57 times so far.  shesh.

My point is that I didn't have to drive to Houston to get away from it all.  I could have saved the gas, but I do need to meet with God in solitude where I won't be disturbed.  I really can't get that in New Orleans right now.  Too much commotion. 

Another good reason for me to be here is my friend Amanda is getting Baptized on Saturday in Lake Conroe.  She's been a Believer for a while, but she didn't think she needed to be dunked because she got sprinkled with water as a child since she grew up Catholic.  However, she had conviction from the Holy Spirit about having the believer's baptism in order to proclaim her faith in Christ.  It's her choice, and I support it.  I did disciple her all though her for about seven years now.  awesome.

I'm glad that I'm in Houston for a little while.  It's nice to escape every now and then.  peace out, yo!